The Healing Beat

Rev. AndreaGrace is on a summer sabatical. She wanted to share one of her favorite essays from the spring.

Beth and I are sitting at lunch.

Beth – the woman who sent her children to an intergenerational preschool and served on the board of the nonprofit I co-founded dedicated to intergenerational engagement

I ask: “Remember how last time we were together, a year ago, we talked about what to do with my intergenerational work?”

She nods YES and her bright eyes shine!

“Wait til you hear what happened….”

“Was it a moment…” and Beth motions her hands in a way that echoes the Divine Light that shines down on the First Nativity in Christmas cards and movies

“Yes!” I go on to share about how a 93-year old woman called me out for not publishing and said “You ARE an author and people need to read and re-read your writings …. And the following month, my mom told me our world needs my intergenerational works… and how an hour after her comment, I noticed a Divine sign in a meeting and asked people for prayers and one of them recommended a book coach….”

Beth was amazed….

“But wait…. It gets better! The book coach was involved in intergenerational programs in high school, formed a lifelong friendship with her elder-partner and lived with her grandparents in her 20s!”

We laugh in awe! It was clearly a Divine-Light-Shone-Down moment…

“And tomorrow – I officially start collaborating with the book coach.”

Beth mentions how nice it was to see Debbie recently…

Debbie – my right-hand partner at the nonprofit – The woman who also believed in intergenerational work –  The one who took care of all the administration so that I could focus on developing materials and training – The one who recognized the Divine at work in and through our lives –  My partner…

until I had to lay her off

My heart skipped a beat with Beth. After that fateful day, it felt like Debbie wanted nothing to do with me. My heart has ached and I’ve prayed for healing in this relationship – for several years now.

That evening, I make a way to a presentation by Larry Spotted Crow Mann on his Nipmuc story and culture.

I was drawn there – I was on a mission to be there – not really sure why. Wondering if it’s because my first-generation, Italian Grandpa Joe always talked about the Nipmucs… Not sure why he did that– Not sure why I needed to be there but KNOWING I needed to be there

Larry Spotted Crow Mann begins with a prayer recognizing the ancestors – the generations – who are present with him and then he begins beating the drum….

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It sounds like a heartbeat. He explains that everything has a heartbeat – even the wind and trees. “Vibrations are heartbeats.”

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He offers prayers for healing. I settle into the vibration of the drum resonating in my own body and pray  – once again – that I may be an instrument of healing

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I remember being on retreat a couple of weeks earlier and my friend offering me a drum like Larry Spotted Crow’s and how healing it was to beat the drum and move in nature. On that day, I noticed my beat was different than the others in the group… Spirit showed me I often move to the unique beat of Spirit

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In the presentation, from my seat, I can’t see the screen so I move… until my feet hurt from standing and I find a different seat near the door.

Larry Spotted Crow shares about some of the trauma generations of his family suffered at the hands of the US government. I had no idea. I listen with my heart and receive… and feel the feelings. And pray for healing.

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As Larry Spotted Crow is finishing his presentation, a woman walks in front of me. Our eyes meet. She stops. And sits next to me. It is Debbie. We are both surprised – as we are 40 minutes away from where we lived and worked!

We walk out together into the dark evening. We chit-chat, catching up on our lives and families, remembering some of the journeys we made together…

Then, I offer an apology for what I did that was hurtful and what I failed to do…

and I AM able to listen to and receive her response – the details are blurry, the feelings are deep

I apologize again and tell her that was one of the most difficult times of my life

We hug.

Under the portico with the light shining down on us and streetlights twinkling around us, Debbie offers with amazement:

If only you hadn’t come tonight OR had sat someplace else OR I hadn’t left when I did… we would not have seen each other…  

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Clearly – we both realize this was a Divine Encounter by the Great Spirit.

We walk to our cars which are parked close to each other in a secluded part of the property and we hug a couple of more times. I get into my car with a pep in my step and a smile on my face

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On this land where the first residents were of the Nipmuc tribe

in this presentation that invoked the ancestors, the generations, and the Great Spirit

in an evening dedicated to healing

the labors of intergenerational love that Debbie and I gifted to this world continue to vibrate

and finally – that piece of my heart has been healed and I AM free to begin sharing our work in a new way for new audiences

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